When we don’t have Emotional intelligence it feels like every ant hill is the size of a mountain; Emotional Intelligence is the skills and tools you need to climb that mountain.

– The Feminine Throne

Do you find that you’re constantly in conflict with yourself, other people, or the world around you? Do you find it easy to positively express your emotions during times of conflict? Better yet, do you know how to resolve conflict? Think about a time in your life when you were experiencing a conflict, and then think about how effectively you worked through that conflict, Its not always easy right? You’re not alone everyone struggles with conflict resolution. We see and hear stories everyday of someone who made a tragic decision that impacted not only themselves, but also the people around them. Then we judge their choice and ask, “why that decision?” Often more than not, that decision was made because of low emotional intelligence defined as the capacity to be aware of, control, and express one’s emotions, and to handle interpersonal relationships judiciously and empathetically. You May know many people who are academically brilliant but yet find it extremely hard to understand their social environment and how to master it. This is because your mental intelligence isn’t enough on its own. In order for you to have a successful life you need to be emotionally intelligent, arguably more so. Yes, your IQ can help you navigate work and school, but it’s your EQ that will help you manage your emotional experiences.

Emotional intelligence gives us the ability to sense, understand, and effectively transform the inner power of our emotions into a more tangible energy source, like knowledge, connection, and influence. Allowing you to use your emotions to make constructive decisions about your behavior. Because when you lose control of your emotions you can lose the ability to act thoughtfully and appropriately. This has the possibility to affect your future goals. Understanding and managing our own emotions, also give us insight into the emotions of others, and the social world as a whole. When you gain the skill of emotional intelligence you learn how to:

·     Develop and maintain good relationships

·     Communicate clearly and more effectively

·     Inspire and influence others

·     Work well with others

·     Manage interpersonal conflict.

·     Express how you feel and understand how others feel

·     Develop stronger and more meaningful relationships

Why we master Emotional Intelligence:

Realizing that everyone is different is essential to understanding that people interpret, express and action emotions very differently. While there is one truth, there are a billion ways to get to it. This affects the logic and rational of our interactions with others. Making it very hard to navigate not only personal, but interpersonal emotions, so it is very important to note that no one escapes the complexities of emotions.  We all have emotions, and they are the natural condition of our desire for connection, validation, and love. Our emotions can easily become our biggest downfall without the use of EQ. A low EQ makes you impulsive, hasty in your actions, unable to reduce the intensity of emotion, unable to affect the mood of a space, moody, stressed, anxious, easy to angry, depressed, and sad. When you loose yourself, to toxic emotions this can lead to toxic decisions, and this is never a good idea. The purpose of most of our interactions is cooperation and balance within our environment, so a poor EQ is not appropriate for being balanced in our relationships. Emotional intelligence will help you bridge the gap within our interactions.

When an emotionally intelligent person has mastered these four emotional skills: Emotional management, Self-awareness, social-awareness, and Balanced Relationships, this gives them the ability to identify emotions properly, use emotions, understand emotions, regulate emotions, and harness those emotions so that they can apply them to tasks like thinking and problem solving. Rather it’s at social or professional environment emotional intelligence allows us to monitor our own emotions as well as other people’s emotions Distinguish among them and use the information to guide our thinking and actions. Emotionally intelligent people have learned that emotions control our thoughts and our thoughts control our actions. Understanding this gives them the best opportunity for making informed decision that positively affect them, and the people around them. And in turn protects them from making decisions that have dire consequences for their environment.

Emotional intelligence is commonly defined by four emotional skillsets:

1.     Self-management – You regulate your emotions and behaviors, manage your emotions in healthy ways, consciously work through negative emotions, healthily express your emotions, you make necessary changes to your behavior, you release unhealthy emotions,  and adapt to changing circumstances.

2.     Self-awareness – You recognize your own emotions and how they affect your thoughts and behavior, you recognize how you emotionally respond to your environment, you know your strengths and weaknesses, Self Mastery, and self-confidence.

3.     Social awareness – You have empathy. You can understand the emotions, needs, and concerns of other people, pick up on emotional cues, and recognize the power dynamics in a group or organization.

4.     Balanced Relationships – You know how to develop and maintain good relationships, communicate clearly and truthfully, have boundaries, reciprocity between you and others, equal moral conduct, cooperation,  and good conflict management.

As you master emotional intelligence, you become comfortable in your social environment, as well as in your personal relationships. You start to trust in your ability to have healthy emotional interactions with others. Your high EQ aids you in conquering every obstacle life throw’s your way. You find it easier to solve problems with more thoughtful and balanced solutions. You become confident and authentic with others, but most importantly you learn to identify, and release emotions that no longer guide you in your growth and development.